Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
