what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
