I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
