We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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