I cockslap morals
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
