How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
