I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
