one might say we're banned from that church
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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