I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
