Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
