I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
