You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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