Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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