finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'm both gender and math confused
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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