Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
