best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
