I hope mine doesn't look like that
Welp...herpes.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
