i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
