I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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