Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
