I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize