Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I am naked and annoyed.
i think i just lost a toe
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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