Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
