people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
