omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize