He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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