Its about making memories worth repressing
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
