You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
