If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
