bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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