Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
he puts the penis in happiness.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
