i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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