they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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