i think my tv is drunk
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
