Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
