Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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