Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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