No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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