I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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