Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
My balls are so social today.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
