Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
