I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
