you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
