I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
