Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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