just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
