He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
