FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
