He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
