hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
there is glitter all over my balls
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
